Mind-Body-Spirit-Baby

Published in the Idaho State Journal June, 2011

The mind-body-spirit connection has long been a favorite subject of mine. So far, I’m maybe at the kindergarten level, but sometimes the ABC’s of something are really all you need to know.

Basically, it’s widely believed by people with lots of letters after their names so it’s OK, that the feelings stored up in our head—happy, sad, nervous, mad--resonate physically in the body somehow, and vice versa. Meantime, our spirit, whatever that is, gets bumped about while trying to head in a very specific direction.

On my list of “Things They Don’t Tell You About Pregnancy and Babies Before You are Pregnant,” a few conceivable side effects of pregnancy are carpal tunnel syndrome and Bell’s palsy, and I got both. Very thankfully, they were temporary. However, there was a period of time, when I couldn’t fully smile or feel with my right hand, that the concept of numbness got in my face, so to speak. With my ABC’s of the mind-body-spirit connection, I took this to mean, what needs to go numb in my head, already? What parts of my self-directed chatter do I want permanently paralyzed and silenced? What negative nonsense must be frozen, immediately, because I’ve got a sane person to raise? Sometimes numbness is a good thing—especially if it makes room for all the wonderful thoughts, experiences, and feelings that come with the new adventure of parenthood.

Another physical experience I had with my pregnancy was afterpains—what you feel when your uterus starts to shrink back to normal size. Sometimes they are delayed, sometimes they are crazy painful, and I got both. With a new c-section. One minute I’m snuggling with my 2 week old newborn, next minute I’m doubled over crawling on my hands and knees trying to find the phone so I can call labor and delivery to tell them I’m having contractions, I’m coming in, have the epidural ready. Bouts of these afterpains and recovery kept me trapped on the couch for nearly two months. The afterpains were often triggered by exertion, as if someone were saying “let’s see you try and do too much and be superwoman when you’re crawling out of the shower, hoping you can get to the bed.” Be still, woman! Cultivate dependence and ask for help! Slow down like you mean it, or else.

So deleting all that icky self-talk and taking it easy are the lessons in front of me, my best-guess insight left over from temporary physical issues. And so far, I’ve fallen on my face about 3000 times trying to get these lessons straight. It’s not like I haven’t seen this curriculum before, either. Pesky shape-shifting dragons. You slay them dead in one situation, only to have them rise again in another.

Perhaps our bodies do know. If nothing else, playing the mind-body-spirit game—trying to connect the dots between physical, emotional, and spiritual states--shines the spotlight on issues we should be working on anyway. My hand and face are back to normal and I’m walking around again. That late pregnancy and early post-partum period are already fading from my memory—those days of wrist braces, funny faces, steroids and ibuprofen. What I hope to remember is how my past experiences with pain and discomfort might relieve me of pain and discomfort in the future, as long as I take these self-perceived lessons to heart and do what I think my body was telling me to do. Onward!

Nancy Goodman is a licensed counselor with an emphasis on life and career coaching. Fumbling Toward Serenity currently runs every other week. 208-406-3234, goodnanc@yahoo.com. http://vocatusidaho.blogspot.com.