I don't know part I

Published in the Idaho State Journal and Blackfoot Morning News week of September 5, 2010

Life is often fraught with ambivalence and uncertainty. We do have some answers, there are certainly pockets of life where things are familiar and stable, but there are times we might find ourselves in over our heads. It’s great to be able to say a clear “yes” or “no,” but how easy is it to acknowledge being clueless? Is it easy? Difficult? Under what circumstances is it ideal for you to say “I don’t know?”

“Pride comes before the fall,” especially at work. New jobs, new projects, new changes can be intimidating. The workplace is a professional environment with, hopefully, high expectations of performance and customer service. Nobody wins when employees pretend to know something they don’t—this can be inconvenient, unprofessional, and sometimes dangerous. And you don’t win by being afraid to get questions answered--it’s up to you to make sure you have what is needed to be successful. If you don’t know the answer to something at work, chances are someone else doesn’t either, so don’t miss out on the opportunity to be a resource for your coworkers by acknowledging what you don’t know, and taking the initiative to seek answers.

If, after saying “I don’t know,” you take an enormous leap of faith. Trusting the adventure, trusting your instincts, and trusting in your ability to handle whatever happens, is all you have control over when venturing into the unknown. It would be great if we could know how things end at the very beginning, but we can only ultimately take our best guess, and know that even if we end up down the wrong alley, we are still moving forward. Saying “I don’t know how this will work out, but I’m going to try it anyway,” can clear the way for personal growth and an authentic life, regardless of the outcome.

Right before you decide to figure out God for yourself. We learn in this or that church, temple, mosque, monastery, book, scroll, text, meditation, that God is this way or that way, with very specific rules and things to know, period. I love the nearly global belief that there is something to the God concept; it’s the squabbling over details that messes everything up. Maybe what you’ve learned as truth doesn’t fit your version of life, maybe your own intuition or spiritual theories have as much, if not more, to offer you. It can be enlightening and productive to figure out your own answers, and weave a spiritual tapestry causes no harm and works just for you.

When you finally stop being stubborn and ask for help. With instability being the new stability, more and more people are finding themselves lost in the woods when it comes to careers, relationships, families, or lifestyle. Sometimes, our mental health takes a nosedive into depression, anger, anxiety, addictions, and wrapping ourselves up in ego and isolation, fearful to reach out, can extend and exacerbate negative states of being. Whether it’s a community service, the comfort of a friend, or acceptance and surrender, solutions and support exist--waiting for us to give up on trying to fix everything alone, and allowing the world and it’s resources in.

“I don’t know” can be a very powerful starting point, as long as we’re not afraid to say it. Often, what we eventually come to know depends on our confidence in knowing what we don’t. Onward!

Nancy Goodman is a licensed counselor with an emphasis on life and career coaching. For questions or to schedule a free consultation, please contact Nancy at 208-406-3234 or goodnanc@yahoo.com. http://vocatusidaho.blogspot.com.