Monkey mind

Published in the Idaho State Journal and Blackfoot Morning News week of August 8, 2010

There’s a concept in Buddhism called the Monkey Mind. As Dinty Moore describes it in The Accidental Buddhist, “The path of human thinking can be thought of as being like a monkey in the jungle, constantly swinging from vine to vine, tree to tree, seldom lighting for more than a second before it is off again.” Our minds are rarely, if ever, completely at rest, hanging out on one branch in the jungle, staring at one particular leaf, arresting and expanding one particular moment in time, The Now. The only time we slow down is when we’re asleep, and even then the Monkey Mind runs amok in dreamland. Meditation principles teach how to discipline and slow the mind, and hold it in one place so we can fully appreciate the present moment.

For many people, perhaps a more pressing problem isn’t that we can’t hold a meditative state, but that we can’t stop the Monkey Mind from playing blindly in the rusty nail and razor-blade forest. The Monkey Mind clings stubbornly to dark and dangerous thoughts that hurt, tear, snag, and shake around violently. Our fears, insecurities, resentments, setbacks, and dramas—a candy store for the untrained Monkey Mind.

Life is life; and it’s normal to venture into dark territory from time to time—when bad things happen, when you are tossed unceremoniously out of your comfort zone, when you choose to take risks and be adventurous. But we’re not supposed to move in.

One of my favorite bumper stickers is “don’t let your mind wander; it’s too little to be left alone.” Unattended toddlers will bounce around wherever—and mix a cocktail using all the pretty liquids under your sink, or roam on wobbly legs into traffic. As toddlers, we are taught to pay attention to what we are doing, and what to avoid—such as that pretty red color emanating from the stove. We’re taught how to stay physically safe from a very early age, but do we learn how to be emotionally safe? “Now, sweet dear, don’t think badly about yourself, that’s really dangerous. Next time you do that you’re going to get a spanking.”

Whether you appreciate lessons from Buddhism or a bumper sticker, it is possible, with practice and discipline, to control the speed and nature of our thoughts—and it is in our best interest to do so. There are several ways this can be accomplished—meditation, cognitive therapy, sticky-notes, affirmations, exercise, visualization, or even monitoring metaphors. For example, entrenched, well-imagined metaphors such as “I am falling apart” or “life is a nightmare” do little to promote emotional well-being. Best to choose mental images and comparisons that make us feel calm, confident, and at peace with our world. When I’m trying to rein in the Monkey Mind, at least from the scarier parts of the forest, I like to have a few of these tricks and tools at my disposal, because some days one might work better than another, and some days I need them all.

It’s wonderful to spent time with a calm, relaxed mind that is playing quietly in safe, friendly territory. Your body relaxes, your breathing slows, your stress dissipates, your hyper-processing goes into hibernate-mode. So find some time today, tomorrow, or by the end of the week to spend a few minutes training the monkey, and know that while life is unpredictable and often out of our control, what goes on inside our head doesn’t have to be. Onward!

Nancy Goodman, LPC, is a licensed counselor with an emphasis on life and career coaching. For questions or to schedule a free consultation, please contact Nancy at 208-406-3234 or goodnanc@yahoo.com. http://vocatusidaho.blogspot.com.