Top Ten Ways to Enjoy a Fabulous Single Life Until You Meet The One--# 7

Published in the Idaho State Journal and Blackfoot Morning News week of July 18, 2010


A few years ago, I compiled a list called “Top Ten Ways to Enjoy a Fabulous Single Life Until You Meet The One.” Looking back, it seems this list was my final exam as a single person, as I met the person who would become my husband just as I was putting the finishing touches on this project. Being single was never easy for me—lonliness, heartbreak, with some betrayal and deception tossed in for good measure. But it was also a journey; a series of life lessons that have proven invaluable, because self-doubt, instability, and ego challenges don’t necessarily end once you walk down the aisle.

Number ten on the list is “Take every opportunity there is to go out (or stay in), even if it’s by yourself,” number nine, “Get adopted by happy healthy couples,” and number eight asks the question “How well does the romantic partner fit in with your amazing friends and family who love you and want you to be happy?” There is a lot of emotional housekeeping involved in maintaining a fabulous life while you are hoping for something more, and your physical space should be given the same care. Since clearing the cobwebs from your front porch is often as important as clearing the cobwebs from your mind, tip number seven for enjoying a fabulous single life until you meet The One is-- “Don’t require more than an hour to welcome people into a home free of mutant dust bunnies, laundry decorating the living room, or three weeks of dirty dishes in your sink.”

When there isn’t another grown-up in the household scolding you to do your daily or weekly chores, sometimes it’s easy to let those mundane, tiresome projects slip into utter chaos. If you aren’t blessed with the neat gene, being married doesn’t necessarily fix this problem, but at least you have someone to share the blame. During my single days, I found it was quite a hindrance to be incapable of spontaneity in my own home. There have been times I’ve needed three or more days before I felt comfortable having anyone enter my personal living space. What a wrench in the works of my fabulous single life! Whether you live in a dorm room, studio apartment or a 5000 square-foot home, it’s valuable to maintain a space that only needs a quick run-through if you want people to stop by—be they friends, neighbors, or dates.

How does one muster up motivation to tackle cleaning projects when you’re flying solo, and messes tend to grow and thrive with neglect? I like to compare this process to cultivating an exercise regimen—start slow and small, find a routine that is comfortable and sustainable, and perhaps even strive to break a sweat. Set a timer for an hour, a few times a week, and tackle a specific project with all your energy and a jammin’ cleaning playlist. I also found throwing parties was a great motivator for getting some serious cleaning done, and it didn’t hurt my rep as a fun single person either.

A benefit of being single is that your home can be a reflection of your amazing individual self—your interests, your tastes, what makes you unique. You don’t have to explain someone else’s mismatched furniture or tacky art—your abode is all about you. Creating a space that is inviting to the outside world just might clear the way for other paths and invitations, as well. Onward!



Nancy Goodman is a licensed counselor with an emphasis on life and career coaching. For questions or to schedule a free consultation (in-person or over the telephone), please contact Nancy at 208-478-1414 or goodnanc@yahoo.com. http://vocatusidaho.blogspot.com.