Published in the Idaho State Journal and Blackfoot Morning News week of June 13, 2010
It’s said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Maybe yes, maybe not. But our eyes are the windows through which we see, perceive, observe, and make decisions about our world—and sometimes our world can seem dark, negative, or threatening, depending on what we look at. Our environment is neutral; a constantly changing picture-show with countless things for us to observe. Sometimes, we look at and concentrate on the wrong things, and then wonder why we’re upset, insecure, angry, or overwhelmed.
If you have made the decision that you want to feel better in life, sometimes the solution can involve simply changing what you look at (or listen to, or other sensory conduits of information) in your daily life. Here are some areas where you might want to consider a “look away” policy to help improve your happiness and wellness in the long run.
Your reflection. People managed to dress themselves and perform basic hygiene long before we had huge mirrors in our bathrooms or bedrooms. Body image is a common issue that causes emotional unhappiness. But would we feel so self-conscious if we didn’t spend all that time staring at what we don’t like about our bodies? We don’t need a mirror’s help to get dressed, and we don’t need to spend time lost in negative reverie, captured by our own reflection.
People you don’t like. It might seem like a lot of fun to scowl, obsess, and criticize toxic individuals should we see them in public or across the cubicle farm. It can be particularly distressful to see an “ex”—ex-partner, ex-boss, ex-friend—in a social situation when we are trying to have fun and relax. It’s a strong temptation to see what they are doing, who they are with, or how they look, but that innocent behavior might tap into some pretty negative feelings. So instead of trying to see what that person is up to, do your best to keep them out of your line of sight altogether. Then, should that person glance your way, all they’ll see is the back of your head as you socialize in your new, better life.
Glowing rectangles. Technology is great, it’s the wave of the future and I can barely remember my social life before Facebook. But how much information technology is really good for our psyche? Are we supposed to have information come at us that fast, that small, from that deep in our past? The pathways to digital information and entertainment are cluttered with ads, commentary, unnecessary links and other virtual attempts to divide and scatter our attention. And divided and scattered is how we might end up feeling as a result, unless we take time to unplug from our chaotic digital lives.
So with all the things we should avoid looking at if we are feeling unhappy, what can we look at to improve our state of mind? Stare at nature—trees, a creek, the sky, birds. Find your pals who love and support you at a social event and give them your full, undivided attention. Find photos of you doing something you’re proud of—hiking a trail, being surrounded by loved ones—and tape them to the center of your mirrors. Emotional wellness is a series of disciplines—conscious efforts to improve our behaviors and patterns, bit-by-bit. And adjusting your world-view, one image at a time, can be a great way to start changing your life for the better. Onward!
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